I Am Here

She pulled at my bathroom stall and said, “I’m here now.”

I said, “I am here too.”

She replied she knew. It was a strange interaction stating obvious. She wanted to be where I was, but she didn’t know how. And this time it was because a locked door kept her out, but was it clearly more.

I opened the door to her standing waiting for me. We had never seen each other before. I told her my stall was open now. She didn’t enter. I told her the three other stalls are also free.

She didn’t enter any.

Instead she turned to follow me with her eyes as I washed my hands in the sink. She said something more, it seemed angry but I missed it. I told this gray-haired lengthy woman that I didn’t know what she meant.

“I don’t know either,” she replied and left after a silent stand-off. The room was filled with sorrow as soon as she told me that.

At times, I am not clearly conveying my own thoughts to get my message across, but those are limited. Sometimes I jumble words and don’t mean what I say, but those are sparing. Never can I recall have I not understood what my brain is pushing into words out of my mouth. Never has my mind not had my own back.

Few things are sadder than your mind giving up on life before your body has.

Today I need to move, because I’m able. Today I need to think, because my mind is my own. Today I am grateful that it is not the tomorrow of old age years to come when that may no longer be true.

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