Nearly “The One”

At least once in your life you meet a person who so naturally fits into your world that it reaffirms your belief in the Universe. Your humor aligns, your passion is insatiable, and this waited breath you had been holding until you found them is finally slowly released.

Undoubtedly, their time with you is short-lived. Your heart breaks. But you’ve gone through heart break before, so you know that time will heal you. But for some reason, time isn’t working. Soon you are without them longer than you were with them, and fuck your life, because you still think about them entirely too much. They live in your fantasies, not reality.

Your reality is focused on moving on, in all the ways you know: having a rebound, starting a new relationship, being alone, being happy, being busy. But Goddammit they still live in this back of your head space. They rented the space a long time ago. Maybe they stopped paying, there’s no contact with them, but the shadow of their memories are playing cheaply. They are taking up too much room.

This is The One Who Got Away. But they didn’t get away; they ran away. Your mind will soften their reasons for leaving. Your mind will forgive and love them. This is not beneficial.

You’ve pictured this person in your life by now. You pictured this person after reading the first sentence. They are wonderful, sitting on the pedestal you’ve built for them.

I have that person. He’s more neurotic than me, he’s arguably equally as analytical and funny as me, he’s crafty, an entrepreneur, family-oriented, driven, and handsome.

I loved him.

He didn’t love me.

And now every man since him I compare to our connection. They don’t measure up. But it’s an unfair fight. He swings back into my life every few months, I cycle back to the fantasy of our future. He breaks me.

He’s not The One Who Got Away. He’s the one who left. Recently, I finally started putting myself first again. I realized he only cuts me and leaves; he never sees if I’m healed. Each text that doesn’t say “I’m sorry,” “I miss you,” “I need you,” is just a reminder that I had more to give and he to take. I want to stop bleeding. I need to stop bleeding.

You’ve pictured this person who lives in the shadows of your mind. With me, let’s release them. Let’s send them love and light and stop the fantasies. It doesn’t serve us. Then, let’s take a deep breath that we’ll hold until the next person who truly moves us, releases their baited breath simultaneously.

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